The dough crumbles through my fingertips. The butter cold and golden yellow amongst the bright white flour. It’s a moment of quiet amongst a time of chaos. Breath in, breath out. I’m taking a moment for myself while, making this summer berry pie.
This simple moment of cutting the butter, requires me to be present, to do it slowly, methodically and takes enough time, that I can either hate and resent this quiet moment or use it to my benefit. I take the later. I use this moment to remember, that I’m happy, blessed and grateful for life.
My fingers coated in flour begin to break up the butter. I take a deep breath and remember, I’m ok, and even though there’s much uncertainty from day to day, I’m making the most of it.
I bring my attention back to the flour. It’s changing. The slow incorporation of the butter into the flour changes the consistency, there are clumps, dry areas and the temperature of the flour cools slightly. Breath in, breath out, I am safe.
My kids run around the house, sounding like a herd of elephants. They burst into the kitchen, “mom can I”, they say, “mom can you”, they say. They are desperate for my undying attention all day every day. “No”, I say, “I am making pie”.
What they don’t know or choose not to listen to, is that this ten minutes of calm is my time. The time where I give myself permission to do nothing else except be present in this moment of baking.
I refocus my energy and my intention on my dough. My inner voice has shifted to something calm and positive. I am transforming this time to be about me and connect with all things and yet nothing at the same time.
My heart rate slows. I’m feel the gritty grains and smooth butter between my fingers. I close my eyes and blindly cut the butter into the flour with my fingers, I allow all of my senses (other than sight) to take over.
I trust when I open my eyes the mixture will be exactly like I set my intentions. The texture is like smooth wet sand.
I can move on.
I know that I have given myself ten minutes to think of myself and slowed the intensity of my everyday life.
My eyes open, I look down and just as I had predicted it is just the way it needs to be. I feel ready to move forward, not only to finish the rest of the berry pie, but most importantly to face my day.
I am grateful. I am blessed. I give thanks.